Mission: Maggie

I wrote this post in October 2011. Did you read it? Did you see that foreshadowing? IT'S LIKE I KNOW MYSELF.

So in October 2011 I was apparently under the impression I was starting over for the last time.

What I find tough to swallow is how much progress I actually had made. I was touching my toes which, for me, was almost as exciting as doing the splits.

What I didn't document, and don't remember, is giving up. At some point I quit stretching. In January 2013, the tension in my entire body was unbearable; even my usually comfy mattress hurt me.

I decided to start my Positivity Proposal, and number two on my list was stretching. I never did get around to writing about number two, although I was doing back, neck and shoulder stretches daily.  I still do them a couple times a week, in fact. My original intent was to add leg and hip stretches until I became a Limber Linda but instead, when life got hectic, I let all exercise be forgotten.

Now look! I can't touch my toes! It's almost my 32nd birthday and I CAN'T TOUCH MY TOES.

So effective immediately I'm reinstating the Positivity Proposal but I'm rebranding. It will now be known as Mission: Maggie. (I may have a thing for alliteration.) I feel the new name better represents my evolving goals, and I'm excited for the reboot!

Below, my husband and I try to take a picture with our puppy.

Number One: WTH?

I don't like who I become on Facebook. We've covered this. So why, when I was stopped in traffic for two hours and 15 minutes on my way to work this morning, did I live blog the event? I felt dirty as the comments began to roll in.

I should have spent the time reflecting, maybe. Thinking how lucky I was that wasn't me. Appreciating my warm car when it was 8° outside. Hoping those in the many (MANY!) accidents were and are OK.

Instead, I Facebook'd. And then, even worse, I grew annoyed when people commented.

So I've made a few adjustments:

1. I only have one "Close Friend" now: my husband. In the past, I had many. If this is going to work, those updates need to stop. (Because I certainly can't ignore them!)

2. I've filtered who can see what I post by default. Since I don't plan to completely disappear from Facebook, I've simply cut down on the chance of getting a frustrating comment.

3. I've completely unsubscribed from Those People. You know them. The people you enjoy in real life but on Facebook they repost things in 30 seconds because OMG THEY LUV THEIR DAUGHTER! You can't unfriend them.

Onward.

Happiness.

I'm truly inspired by the people behind tinybuddha.com, happiness-project.com, and the like. However, when I read entries, I only partially relate. I feel like they're all "beyond" me. As if their version of "I lose my temper with my family" and mine is vastly different.  Mine includes pursing my lips so tightly my eyes bug out of my head. I feel like theirs exclusively includes the word "gosh."

These are unfounded feelings of inferiority that I should explore in a post, right?

But really, what I'm saying is, I'm beginning this betterment journey, and one day I hope to keep my wits about me while muttering "gosh" as my children behave in a manner that used to summon threats of carnival lives. Really, they're kids, and they're only gosh darn kids once.

Baby steps.

You'll never guess what! The plumbers didn't care that my kitchen was messy.

Let's rewind to yesterday so we can all take this journey together. When I left you, I was slightly stressed over not cleaning my kitchen before the 5pm plumber arrival. I was secretly hoping they'd be late and I would have time to get things tidy.

I'm walking to my car at 430 when the borderline unthinkable happens: the plumbers call. They're in my driveway...30 minutes early. When will I be home? Give me 15 minutes, I tell them, and I race home.

But guess what happens when I get home! The plumbers went to the laundry room and got to work. They never gave a second glance to my kitchen.

I cleaned, without running water, while they worked, and I began to think, "Self, maybe you need to calm your silly ass down." So I followed Deepak Chopra on Twitter. Then I unfollowed, because...no thanks.

Baby steps.

Getting shit done.

I'm unhappy with the amount I'm accomplishing in a day. I spend about 11 hours away from my house, 7.5 hours sleeping and an hour getting ready every morning.

This leaves 4.5 hours to accomplish everything else. Things like making dinner, taking kids to whatever commitment, submitting to Jillian Michaels' 30 Day of Soul Sucking, watering the plants.  I also aim to wash and dry one load of laundry each weeknight. I have yet to accomplish that goal this week.

I have yet to accomplish a lot. Yesterday, while my husband took our oldest son to music lessons, I made a quart of vanilla ice cream and turned it into Drumsticks with the help of Pinterest. Then I made dinner and had it on the table when the boys got back. Problems? The dishwasher was already running, I created a boatload of new dishes, and I have plumbers expected at 5pm today, which happens to be the moment when I will be walking in the door.

Sorry, plumbers, not enough time in the day. By the time I finished cooking and serving up everything, it was 830pm. My back hurt, so I went and watched Sons of Guns. My show was more important than impressing you with a tidy kitchen.

My initial complaint is the correct one, I think. I'm not accomplishing enough. I would like to to wake up early (lol, I don't wake up early ever), go for a run (lol, I don't run currently), come back and have time to pull myself together nicely.

I'm torn. How much should I be accomplishing in a day? If I don't take that time to unwind before bed, I'll go crazy. Waking up early makes me grouchy.